Kanye seriously needs to just go away.
"Facebook, for better or worse, is like being at a big party with all your friends, family, acquaintances and co-workers.
There are lots of fun, interesting people you're happy to talk to when they stroll up. Then there are the other people, the ones who make you cringe when you see them coming. This article is about those people.
Sure, Facebook can be a great tool for keeping up with folks who are important to you. Take the status update, the 160-character message that users post in response to the question, "What's on your mind?" An artful, witty or newsy status update is a pleasure -- a real-time, tiny window into a friend's life.
But far more posts read like navel-gazing diary entries, or worse, spam. A recent study categorized 40 percent of Twitter tweets as "pointless babble," and it wouldn't be surprising if updates on Facebook, still a fast-growing social network, break down in a similar way.
Combine dull status updates with shameless self-promoters, "friend-padders" and that friend of a friend who sends you quizzes every day, and Facebook becomes a daily reminder of why some people can get on your nerves.
Here are 12 of the most annoying types of Facebook users:
The Let-Me-Tell-You-Every-Detail-of-My-Day Bore. "I'm waking up." "I had Wheaties for breakfast." "I'm bored at work." "I'm stuck in traffic." You're kidding! How fascinating! No moment is too mundane for some people to broadcast unsolicited to the world. Just because you have 432 Facebook friends doesn't mean we all want to know when you're waiting for the bus.
The Self-Promoter. OK, so we've probably all posted at least once about some achievement. And sure, maybe your friends really do want to read the fascinating article you wrote about beet farming. But when almost EVERY update is a link to your blog, your poetry reading, your 10k results or your art show, you sound like a bragger or a self-centered careerist.
The Friend-Padder. The average Facebook user has 120 friends on the site. Schmoozers and social butterflies -- you know, the ones who make lifelong pals on the subway -- might reasonably have 300 or 400. But 1,000 "friends?" Unless you're George Clooney or just won the lottery, no one has that many. That's just showing off.
The Town Crier. "Michael Jackson is dead!!!" You heard it from me first! Me, and the 213,000 other people who all saw it on TMZ. These Matt Drudge wannabes are the reason many of us learn of breaking news not from TV or news sites but from online social networks. In their rush to trumpet the news, these people also spread rumors, half-truths and innuendo. No, Jeff Goldblum did not plunge to his death from a New Zealand cliff.
The TMIer. "Brad is heading to Walgreens to buy something for these pesky hemorrhoids." Boundaries of privacy and decorum don't seem to exist for these too-much-information updaters, who unabashedly offer up details about their sex lives, marital troubles and bodily functions. Thanks for sharing.
The Bad Grammarian. "So sad about Fara Fauset but Im so gladd its friday yippe". Yes, I know the punctuation rules are different in the digital world. And, no, no one likes a spelling-Nazi schoolmarm. But you sound like a moron.
The Sympathy-Baiter. "Barbara is feeling sad today." "Man, am I glad that's over." "Jim could really use some good news about now." Like anglers hunting for fish, these sad sacks cast out their hooks -- baited with vague tales of woe -- in the hopes of landing concerned responses. Genuine bad news is one thing, but these manipulative posts are just pleas for attention.
The Lurker. The Peeping Toms of Facebook, these voyeurs are too cautious, or maybe too lazy, to update their status or write on your wall. But once in a while, you'll be talking to them and they'll mention something you posted, so you know they're on your page, hiding in the shadows. It's just a little creepy.
The Crank. These curmudgeons, like the trolls who spew hate in blog comments, never met something they couldn't complain about. "Carl isn't really that impressed with idiots who don't realize how idiotic they are." [Actual status update.] Keep spreading the love.
The Paparazzo. Ever visit your Facebook page and discover that someone's posted a photo of you from last weekend's party -- a photo you didn't authorize and haven't even seen? You'd really rather not have to explain to your mom why you were leering like a drunken hyena and French-kissing a bottle of Jagermeister.
The Maddening Obscurist. "If not now then when?" "You'll see..." "Grist for the mill." "John is, small world." "Dave thought he was immune, but no. No, he is not." [Actual status updates, all.] Sorry, but you're not being mysterious -- just nonsensical.
The Chronic Inviter. "Support my cause. Sign my petition. Play Mafia Wars with me. Which 'Star Trek' character are you? Here are the 'Top 5 cars I have personally owned.' Here are '25 Things About Me.' Here's a drink. What drink are you? We're related! I took the 'What President Are You?' quiz and found out I'm Millard Fillmore! What president are you?"
You probably mean well, but stop. Just stop. I don't care what president I am -- can't we simply be friends? Now excuse me while I go post the link to this story on my Facebook page.
- Total Recall
- Flight of the Navigator
- A Nightmare on Elm Street
What's the common thread? All movies from the 80's that were loved then, and many still loved now. So why in the world people feel the need to remake ALL of them is beyond me. Seriously we need to remake Footloose? What was wrong with it...nothing!
I know I have rambled on before on this topic, but every time I hear a new remake in the works I just shake my head. I guess the movie folks have not stumbled upon my blog ranting yet. So until then, a-rambling I will go!!
Now, not everyone will admit to loving any or all of these movies, but can't these Hollywood folk remake the movies that bombed instead of the good ones? I mean there are plenty of crappy movies that might have been good if there had been better special effects etc., so why not tackle those instead of the "classics"? I mean Footloose will never be Footloose without Kevin Bacon and Chris Penn. Just like Hairspray is not Hairspray without Ricki Lake and Divine. I have not watched the new Hairspray (and will not) and there is no way I will watch a Footloose remake.
Next thing you know they'll be remaking E.T.
Come on folks, let's get some new ideas...or some old bad ones and work our magic with those instead!
- gym - twice (I know, I won't win a body building challenge or even an arm wrestling contest, but twice a week is my goal - an attainable goal with an 11 month old and a husband who seems to work more now than he did when we lived in NYC)
- dessert - just once, but it was one of those mini, personal ones from Famous Dave's, but I didn't eat the bun that came with my brisket sandwich and I sent most of my fries back
- one nice long fast paced walk with the kid
- no mid day cookie baking, did make some pudding, but it's the low fat low sugar jello pudding, so it doesn't count right? :o)
No huge accomplishments but it's put me in a more motivated mood for the week. So much in fact that I am contemplating getting dressed before 10 and taking the wee one for our walk this morning. AND I also told the husband to be home so I can go to the gym. We'll see if that happens though.
I did notice that it's not just the drive home from the gym....it's every where I go - to church, to the grocery store, to Target....McDonalds, DQ, Coldstone, Chipotle...it's like they're multiplying overnight when I am not looking. Trips to Target become more difficult as I walk by their food court and smell those fantastic Pizza hut bread sticks...oh how I love them, but I resist!
Anyway, there's my report...feel free to ignore it, it's not anything to gloat about but I am hoping telling the world (or the few folks who read this) will help me to stay the course and not give in when I go to Costco and buy that XXL bag of peanut M&M's and eat them for dinner. But what a fantastic dinner that would be.....
I've also been debating getting the new Wii Active - anyone tried it or know anyone who has...any thoughts on it? Worth the money? Waste of money??
Oh, and just as a side note, I've totally been kicking Mark's trash in Scrabble lately. I think we've played 10 or 12 games and I think he's won 2 or 3. So we're both thinking we're pretty good players, but maybe we're just good against each other. Anyone else play? If so, what's your typical score...we need something to gauge ourselves against.
- Ok, so he won. No, not him, him.
- The cops in MN are looking for a kid and his Mom who fled the state to avoid having chemo. The kid doesn't want it, he's 13, his parents agree. Why is the state so bent on bringing him back? He's old enough to understand that without chemo he will probably die, but he wants to try some other alternative methods. He's 13, not 3, he knows the risks. If it was all his parents idea then yes, step in, but come on, aren't there more serious things happening that require police time and effort?
- TV channels are introducing their fall line ups. Eli Stone and Pushing Daisies get cancelled, but NBC made another season of I'm a Celeb, Get Me Out of Here? AND cancelled Medium?? Tragedy. Luckily CBS picked Medium up.
- It was 97 degrees here the other day...I hate the heat.
- LOST was AWSOME. Now I have to wait until January or February to find out what happened AND it'll be the last season. I am stocking up on anti-depressants and kleenex now.
- Facebook is lame. Can anyone explain to me it's purpose/relevance? And while you're at it, explain to me why I keep logging on and checking my profile?
- SYTYCD starts tonight...wooot wooot! I should be on that show.
- How does anyone know how to go about obtaining a surface-to-air missile?? I wouldn't know the first person to talk to about that, maybe it's just me.
A grown man, probably in his 40's, in full on denim bib overalls. Oh the horror. I'm not sure why these things still exist, do we really need them? We have pockets in pants, pockets in coats...do we need a one piece article of clothing with a middle of the chest pocket?
Oh I wish I had a picture of him, description alone can not do him justice.
I guess they are trying to make them more fashionable with "low back" bibs...is that like low rise jeans? Not sure I want to see overall crackage.
I'd apologize to anyone who wears these in case I have offended you, but I can't. I just can't... maybe some public bashing will make you burn those bib overalls for good and make the world a better place for all of us to live.
So here's the rundown of the score so far:
- Bad - 11 month old not wanting to sleep very early this morning and later this morning
- Bad - 11 month old crying at every thing today
- Good - wanted to binge on every item of chocolate in sight at Target but resisted
- Bad? Good? - spending more time at Target now than when I was employed there (bad for the bank account good for my sanity)
- Good - had some french toast this morning
- Bad - ate it while a certain someone wailed because she wasn't getting her watermelon fast enough
- Ugly - ate Kraft Dinner for lunch...shudder
- Bad - have to take car in for oil change tomorrow...how will I entertain the kid for 30-40 minutes???
- Bad - realized that TAR is over for another season, how I will miss you Browsie
- Bad - I have to pack again tomorrow
- Good - T has yet to yank the clip out of her hair, I think that is a record!
- Bad - today reminded me that summer is coming and I hate the heat
- Ugly - apparently ants have decided to take over my kitchen sink and will not go away. I don't have a clue where they are coming from and they seem to just keep coming back
- Ugly - we have hard water (which we knew) but now our new dishwasher has decided to leave this white, crappy, powdery, residue all over our dishes (that it never left before) and it will not go away either!! So now I have to find citric acid to try to remedy this mineral deposit problem - or buy a water softener ($$!)
- Bad - I'm pretty sure I'll be able to add a few more bads to the list before 5PM
- Canadians purchase an average of 30 million drinks per year (that's almost as many as the population of Canada!)
- Winnipeg was named Slurpee capitol of the world for the 9th time in a row in 2008 (we rule!), even though we are a very, very chilly city (Slurpees in the middle of January, you betcha!)
- Stores in Winnipeg sell, on average 8330 drinks a month, the rest of Canada - a paltry 5990 per month
- The Pina Colada flavour is not kosher
- The term Slurpee was coined in 1967 by Bob Stanford
- Slurpee is in my spellcheck because apparently it needs to be capitalized!
Thanks Wikipedia for all of your knowledge. We love you Slurpee!!!