...you could be a fly on the wall, would you want to know what people said/thought about you when they didn't think you were listening?


Grab Your Depends

I have watched this video SO many times, but had forgotten about it until a week ago. Since then I have watched it many more times! Each time I think I pee my pants.
Watch it, and be prepared to change your undies!


Are You Guilty?

Here's a fun article I read on cnn.com;

"Facebook, for better or worse, is like being at a big party with all your friends, family, acquaintances and co-workers.

There are lots of fun, interesting people you're happy to talk to when they stroll up. Then there are the other people, the ones who make you cringe when you see them coming. This article is about those people.

Sure, Facebook can be a great tool for keeping up with folks who are important to you. Take the status update, the 160-character message that users post in response to the question, "What's on your mind?" An artful, witty or newsy status update is a pleasure -- a real-time, tiny window into a friend's life.

But far more posts read like navel-gazing diary entries, or worse, spam. A recent study categorized 40 percent of Twitter tweets as "pointless babble," and it wouldn't be surprising if updates on Facebook, still a fast-growing social network, break down in a similar way.

Combine dull status updates with shameless self-promoters, "friend-padders" and that friend of a friend who sends you quizzes every day, and Facebook becomes a daily reminder of why some people can get on your nerves.

Here are 12 of the most annoying types of Facebook users:

The Let-Me-Tell-You-Every-Detail-of-My-Day Bore. "I'm waking up." "I had Wheaties for breakfast." "I'm bored at work." "I'm stuck in traffic." You're kidding! How fascinating! No moment is too mundane for some people to broadcast unsolicited to the world. Just because you have 432 Facebook friends doesn't mean we all want to know when you're waiting for the bus.

The Self-Promoter. OK, so we've probably all posted at least once about some achievement. And sure, maybe your friends really do want to read the fascinating article you wrote about beet farming. But when almost EVERY update is a link to your blog, your poetry reading, your 10k results or your art show, you sound like a bragger or a self-centered careerist.

The Friend-Padder. The average Facebook user has 120 friends on the site. Schmoozers and social butterflies -- you know, the ones who make lifelong pals on the subway -- might reasonably have 300 or 400. But 1,000 "friends?" Unless you're George Clooney or just won the lottery, no one has that many. That's just showing off.

The Town Crier. "Michael Jackson is dead!!!" You heard it from me first! Me, and the 213,000 other people who all saw it on TMZ. These Matt Drudge wannabes are the reason many of us learn of breaking news not from TV or news sites but from online social networks. In their rush to trumpet the news, these people also spread rumors, half-truths and innuendo. No, Jeff Goldblum did not plunge to his death from a New Zealand cliff.

The TMIer. "Brad is heading to Walgreens to buy something for these pesky hemorrhoids." Boundaries of privacy and decorum don't seem to exist for these too-much-information updaters, who unabashedly offer up details about their sex lives, marital troubles and bodily functions. Thanks for sharing.

The Bad Grammarian. "So sad about Fara Fauset but Im so gladd its friday yippe". Yes, I know the punctuation rules are different in the digital world. And, no, no one likes a spelling-Nazi schoolmarm. But you sound like a moron.

The Sympathy-Baiter. "Barbara is feeling sad today." "Man, am I glad that's over." "Jim could really use some good news about now." Like anglers hunting for fish, these sad sacks cast out their hooks -- baited with vague tales of woe -- in the hopes of landing concerned responses. Genuine bad news is one thing, but these manipulative posts are just pleas for attention.

The Lurker. The Peeping Toms of Facebook, these voyeurs are too cautious, or maybe too lazy, to update their status or write on your wall. But once in a while, you'll be talking to them and they'll mention something you posted, so you know they're on your page, hiding in the shadows. It's just a little creepy.

The Crank. These curmudgeons, like the trolls who spew hate in blog comments, never met something they couldn't complain about. "Carl isn't really that impressed with idiots who don't realize how idiotic they are." [Actual status update.] Keep spreading the love.

The Paparazzo. Ever visit your Facebook page and discover that someone's posted a photo of you from last weekend's party -- a photo you didn't authorize and haven't even seen? You'd really rather not have to explain to your mom why you were leering like a drunken hyena and French-kissing a bottle of Jagermeister.

The Maddening Obscurist. "If not now then when?" "You'll see..." "Grist for the mill." "John is, small world." "Dave thought he was immune, but no. No, he is not." [Actual status updates, all.] Sorry, but you're not being mysterious -- just nonsensical.

The Chronic Inviter. "Support my cause. Sign my petition. Play Mafia Wars with me. Which 'Star Trek' character are you? Here are the 'Top 5 cars I have personally owned.' Here are '25 Things About Me.' Here's a drink. What drink are you? We're related! I took the 'What President Are You?' quiz and found out I'm Millard Fillmore! What president are you?"

You probably mean well, but stop. Just stop. I don't care what president I am -- can't we simply be friends? Now excuse me while I go post the link to this story on my Facebook page.


Lock Up The Kids

You may want to be seated for this one.
It's finally happened.
Mark has ventured out on his own. Yes he is leaving the comfort of this blog for the unknown, uncensored, often to offend, world of blogging on his own.
It's up, it's running, it's Mark.
Check it out here.


A&E, I Heart You.

I am a big fan of A&E's show Intervention. I think it is a great window into addictions of any kind. From drugs, to alcohol, to shopping, to overeating; anything is game. Nothing is made to look pretty, or be hidden. It is the life of the person, and their family, for everyone to see. Anyone who watches this show and continues to do, or begins to do, drugs of any kind, must have watched with their eyes closed. Last night's episode was one of the best I have seen. Two brothers addicted to more than drugs, to each other. Talk about co-dependency.
Now, A&E has a new show, Hoarders. Unbelievable. I couldn't turn it off. Last night's episode focused on a family with the wife a compulsive shopper and the husband a hoarder. They were in danger of losing their children due to the condition of their home. There was not a single inch of floor visible, they ate meals on the bed because it was the only available surface, the kids climbed on desks and dressers to get to their beds and toys. Their front porch was the spill-off area for things that couldn't fit in the house (I think there was a bathtub on the porch), and the yard housed much more (such as a unattached/unusable deck).
The other woman the show followed was also a hoarder, but a food hoarder. Her landlord had given her an ultimatum of clean up or be evicted. She had numerous rotting pumpkins and other gourds in her home, 6 month old yogurts in her fridge, bags upon bags of rotting apples in her living room and probably many things that could not be identified. At one point, she found a rotting cabbage, peeled back the outer leaves, seeping with juices and mold, revealing leaves with their original purple colour. She then proceeded to put the cabbage back in the bag saying it was now completely edible. I think I threw up a little at this point, even the professionals had to leave the room after opening a drawer in the fridge that housed rotting, seeping meat. One professional said he had never smelled anything as wretched in his whole career of helping people. Every item of packaged food, unless it was puffed out, was to be kept; Sour Cream could never be bad since it is already sour. This woman did not like to think that food would be wasted and that most people were afraid of the expiration date, as many foods are perfectly edible long past that arbitrary date.
Like Intervention, the bring in a team to help the people..organizers, cleaners, psychologists, whatever it takes to help, if they want the help. The couple were able to get their house organized and de-junked and avoid having their children taken away from them. The food hoarder was able to avoid eviction so long as she continued to make progress on cleaning out her house. The teams are only given 2 days to get in and make a difference...I figure they must not sleep in those 2 days because I don't think I could get it done in 2 weeks.
I think this might be my new favourite show...so long as I can stomach it. Check it out, Monday nights, A&E, you won't be disappointed.