This post is too bootylicious

In another "What's Up With The Smith's" exclusive, I recently interviewed Beyonce about her new album and life in general.

Mark: Beyonce, thanks for taking the time to answer some questions today.

Beyonce: No problem, after your interview with Stephenie Meyers I just had to sit down with you.

First question, did you decide to do a schizophrenic album after the success of Garth Brook's "Chris Gaines" album?

Who's Garth Brooks.

Did you realize Sasha Fierce is an anagram for Shiesa Farce?

No.

How do you respond to criticism that your new song "If I Were a Boy" is complete fiction because you never discuss scratching your nuts or masturbating into a sock?

If I Were a Boy is a great song.

Will your fans have enough money to buy your new album after their large donations to defeat Prop 8?

My fans are great.

Your mother's family is French, was it difficult to not raise the white flag after losing Star Search?

No.

You have been credited with writing most of your songs, after reading the lyrics for Bootylicious I have to ask, are you functionally retarded?

No comment.

Your new movie "Cadillac Records" is supposedly Oscar worthy, who do you think you'll lose to this time?

I'm a good actress.

You've ruined the careers of Mike Meyers and Steve Martin by starring alongside them in comedies, will you please do a movie with Dane Cook?

My comedies have been very successful.

Rihanna: bad singer, or worst singer?

Rihanna is good.

Is there a bigger tool than Puffy?

No.

Does Jay Z get annoyed with your dad micro-managing you in the bedroom?

My dad is great.

I think I'm ready for your jelly (wink, wink), what do you say?

No.

I'll call you Sasha and you can call me HOVA?

No.