Weight Loss with Melanie

The one thing I have learned since adding a child to our family, other than typing proficiently with one hand, is the perfect post pregnancy weight loss plan.  I don't know why women complain about how hard it is to lose the baby weight, it's the easiest thing I have ever done.
So for all of you ladies struggling with losing all of the weight, or just those last few pounds, let me share my secrets with you...feel free to take notes.

  1. Give birth to child #2.
  2. Ensure child #1 is mobile, inquisitive and not easily entertained playing by him/herself.
  3. Make sure new child  is also high maintenance (or colicky, whichever word you prefer).
  4. Spend every day time hour holding baby while trying to entertain toddler.  Even when child is sleeping because they won't stay asleep when put down (not that they sleep for long when held either).
  5. Feed baby every 2 to 2.5 hours for 30+ minutes.
  6. Wrangle toddler from destroying every thing in the house.
  7. Spend hours that baby is awake, constantly moving.  Walking, swinging, rocking, jumping, dancing, anything that stops the incessant crying.
  8. Try to keep toddler from crying over everything (swinging in the baby swing, trying to pick the baby up by his neck, breaking Wii games etc.)
  9. Spend nights waking every 1-2 hours to either feed baby or put baby back to sleep.
  10. Reducing, or eliminating altogether, meals due to a lack of opportunity to eat.  When eating permits, options are limited to items that can be made/chosen/held with one hand that do not require stove/oven use.  
  11. Repeat daily (minus step #1).
Follow these easy steps and you will be back in your old clothes in no time.  You won't have anywhere to wear them, but at least you will know you can fit into those jeans again!


Emma said...

Yes, that was me 2 months ago. Then, the crying lessened somewhat and I became more hardened to it. Also, I realized that my not eating enough made him need to eat more often, which was a bummer. Every time he starts crying now, it makes me want a snack. Thus, I lost my pregnancy weight in two weeks, and over the past two months have started regaining it.

Ming said...

Oh Mel, I'm so sorry. Well not for the weight loss...congrats on that...I've got a LONG way to go, but the colicky baby sounds rough.

Scott and Elly said...

...so you're telling me that weight loss is a snap after number two! can't wait!

Nachelle said...

Yikes Mel, life sounds crazy for you guys, hope it gets better soon, can't wait to see you and your skinny little self soon!