Is There An Interpreter In The House?

In an attempt to lighten up the blog and resume my duties of celeb craptainment blogger, I found this pretty amusing piece, courtesy of www.abcnews.com. It's pretty hard-hitting, journalist award worthy stuff here...okay, not in the least, but it definitely made me laugh out loud a couple times!! Oh celebs...why some people try to emulate you, I'll never know.

"Every time I'm not wearing my ring, people think I'm getting divorced. That's crazy! It just didn't go with the dress. Divorce is not -- and was never -- an option." -- Actress Jennifer Lopez to In Touch magazine, Jan. 11, 2009, on her marriage to singer Marc Anthony. This is her third marriage. She has been divorced twice-- to Ojani Noa and dancer Cris Judd.

"So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?" -Christina Aguilera, 2000, to the cast of "Saturday Night Live" backstage

"I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman." - Arnold Schwarzenegger, 2003, in an interview with radio host Sean Hannerty during the California gubernatorial campaign

"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century." - Dan Quayle, Sept. 15, 1988 during a press conference in Moore, Okla., in answer to a question on the Holocaust

"I can see Russia from my house!" -- Comedian Tina Fey impersonating Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin on "Saturday Night Live," broadcast Sept. 13, 2008

"When I pictured heroin, I pictured some crazy crackhead with no shoes under a bridge. You never think that is going to be you. And it never was me. I was never under a bridge, and I always had shoes." - Nicole Richie, 2007, Nylon magazine

"I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to." -- Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece in 1994 to Sports Illustrated

"What's Wal-Mart? Do they like make walls there?" -Paris Hilton, 2003, on show "The Simple Life"

"I think the 'Clueless' movie was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness." -Alicia Silverstone, 2000 to the Sunday Telegraph. She was nominated for Britain's annual Foot in Mouth award, honoring the celebrity who makes the most baffling verbal statement.

"It's really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people." -Axl Rose of Guns N' Roses, 1989, Rolling Stone

"Too many ob-gyns aren't able to practice their love with women across this country." -President George W. Bush, Sept. 6, 2004, while discussing malpractice lawsuit reforms

"All of a sudden you're like the Bin Laden of America. Osama bin Laden is the only one who knows what I'm going through." -R. Kelly, 2003, after a court hearing on charges of child pornography

"Smoking kills. And if you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." -Brooke Shields, 1982, during interview to become spokeswoman for a federal anti-smoking campaign

"I love religion. I remember whenever the book "The Da Vinci Code" came out, the Discovery Channel did this three-night piece on it that I TiVoed and then watched eight times." - Jessica Simpson in 2009, Marie Claire magazine

"Maybe 100." -- Sen. John McCain, in a January 2008 town hall meeting in Derry, N.H., discussing how many years U.S. troops could remain in Iraq.

"All of them, any of them that have been in front of me over all these years." -- Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, responding to a request by CBS anchor Katie Couric to name the newspapers or magazines she reads, broadcast Oct. 1, 2008.

"I get to go overseas places, like Canada."' -Britney Spears in 1999, to the Toronto Star, when asked about the perks of fame.

I think Dan Quayle's quote is my favourite, but Axl, R.Kelly and Brit-Brit...you all made me chuckle and shake my head a little too. Thanks for the fodder!


emily said...

omg, that was TOO FUNNY. i just sat here and read the list two times in a row. Dan Quayle's is definitely my favorite. J Lo's is a close second. Thanks for sharing!

Kyndra said...

This list is awesome. Celebrities are awesome.