Twilight

In an M&M Smith exclusive, I had a chance to sit down with Stephenie Meyers, author of the Twilight series for a little tete-a-tete about the books.

Mark: Ms. Meyers, thanks for joining me today.
Stephenie: No problem at all, I've been a fan of your blog for quite some time and I'm looking forward to being questioned by a man who writes about pushing old people down and has a hatred of just about everything, including Christmas.

First question, is it true that the idea for the Twilight series came to you while hiking in bear country during your period?

No.

How does it feel to inspire a group of young fans as douchy, immature and out of touch with reality as Harry Potter Fans?

My fans are great.

Was your mother's name, Candy, the inspiration to give all of your female characters rocking stripper names?

Candy is a fine name.

What would Anne Rice think about the books if she were alive today?

Ms. Rice is alive.

Whatever, moving on. You wrote a spicy sex scene in the last installment of the books, were you concerned that you would offend the 40-something year-old Mormon book club fans who won't read books like "The Diary of Anne Frank" and Alma because of their gratuitous sensuality?

The scene was done in good taste.

Have you ever actually had sex?

No comment.

You were very involved in the Twilight movie that is coming out later this year, was it your idea to have actor Robert Pattinson who portrays Edward base his character on Johnny Depp's Edward Scissor Hands, but to be less retarded and more gay?

Who's Johnny Depp?

Will you give me a hug and not bite me?

No.

Olympics

Well, that was fun. Mel and I spent the last two weeks camped in front of the tv watching the olympics. I think the olympics have lost that special something it had when I was a kid when it was the good ole U.S. of A. kicking some pinko Communist A'. I wasn't expecting much from the olympics, but after watching the first men's swimming relay gold, I wanted to find a Frenchman, kick him in the groin and start a chant, "USA, USA, USA".
I think my favorite part, except for the women's beach volleyball (why don't they make all women athletes wear those same outfits, except for the weightlifters and shotputters), was Bela Karoli. With the exception of maybe Einstein, this is the greatest person we've stolen from a fascist nation. I think NBC needs to have him cover more sports, look at the energy he brings to some of the demonstration sports.

Do we need Jitterbugs already!?

When did we become so old?

Was it when I first moved away from home? Graduating from University with a graduate degree? Moving to New York City? Buying a house? Buying a bedroom suite? Having a baby?

Or was it many years ago when my love affair with Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy started?

I know for Mark it must have been when we rented our first house and I discovered I had married an 80 year old man who was fixated with feeding hummingbirds and mowing his lawn. I guess it won't be too long before we are sitting in our rockers on the porch, Mark shaking a stick at those darn kids walking across the lawn and me cursing those punk kids driving by with their car stereos blasting out some sort of "rap" music. Mark will long for the days when kids respected other people's property (oh wait he does that know) and I will long for the days when kids drove by blaring the good tunes like Styx's Mr. Roboto or anything else from the 80's! (Oh how T will openly laugh at us!)

Maybe I need to hot a club one night and see if the bouncer would card me!!

Think there are people who can teach you to be as cool as you once were (or at least as cool as you thought you once were)?

I just hope Wheel and Jeopardy are always on my TV.

Boobies

This pretty much sums up the Smith home these days.

Going Under Cover

Saturday night we dined at a "chain" restaurant for our 7 year anniversary (it was Sunday, so we thought we would be good kids and eat out on Saturday), and I don't think I saw too many of Mark's restaurant bingo squares while we ate. Maybe it was because we got there at 8:45ish, and unlike NYC, restaurants in Minneapolis aren't as busy at 8:30 as they are at 6:30. Or maybe because it was P.F.Changs, and I kind of hold it a bit above the typical chain restaurant such as Applebee's or Fridays. Either way, I love the Mongolian Beef and would go there even if our server was the one with teased bangs, FUPA and a Harley Davidson tank top on.

As we were driving in the car the song Time After Time came on, although it wasn't by Ms. Lauper, it was a remake, and it got me thinking if there has ever been a remake that I liked better than the original? I had been contemplating this whole remake thing for a few weeks now, and then read Jeff's blog entries (here and here) on remakes (you beat me to the punch!), and it made me think about it even more.

I came to the conclusion that I can only think of one remake I like better than the original and that is Suspicious Minds - Dwight Yokam's version. Now this is odd for a number of reasons. First off, I don't like Elvis (he is the originator); second I don't like Dwight Yokam; and third, I don't like country music. The third has more to do with Dwight than the song, as I don't think it is very "country".

I say if you're going to remake a song, REMAKE it, don't just repeat it, change it up!!

Mark listens to a band called Me First and the Gimme Gimmies and all they do is cover songs, but they turn them into punk songs. Most of the time you sit there listening to the song thinking "I know this song, but I can't think of the name" and then you find out it is Boyz to Men's End of the Road. You should check out there stuff and see how many songs you can recognize right from the start!

Anyone a Gimme Gimme fan? Have some remakes you like better than originals? What song do you wish was never remade? Or who is off limits to have songs remade? For me, that would be INXS's Never Tear Us Apart - that song is sacred.

Chain Restaurant Bingo

Mel and I eat out quite a bit, especially with my job. We are constantly eating at chain restaurants with little personality that all blend into the same white trash hang-out after a while. Recently while eating out we decided that we should find a way to make our experience more enjoyable, thus was born Chain Restaurant Bingo. We are providing this free of charge until we get the IP locked up. Simply mix the board up and see who can spot the items first to form a bingo.What do you think, did we miss anything that could be added to the board?