7.08.2008

Things I Hate

Maybe it's the warm weather, Carlin's death, the fact that everything has been so good for me lately, or maybe the six week rule, but today I've noticed lots of little things that annoy me. In no particular order, here are some things that I hate.

Punks, Al Sharpton, dingleberries, Rachel Ray, hiccups, hearing about your kids, popped collars, loud talkers, cute text spellings, cats, beginning a sentence with "basically", bluetooth headsets, Tim Treadwell, carbon credits, Crocs, "supposably", cat owners, ADD, snot, Mac commercials, Fergie, genocide, rolled up jeans, cigarettes, people who buy lottery tickets, Oprah, jazz music, suspenders and belts together, New Jersey, old wives tales, Mormon Folklore, Grey’s Anatomy, L Ron Hubbard and his followers, gum on my shoes, Liberals, midget's fingers, paying for haircuts, sad drunks, Eva Longoria, people who don't hit clear on the office microwave after using it, paparazzi, the DH, Madonna, pushy old Asian ladies, Jesse Jackson, fat people sitting next to me, dancing shows, panhandling/performing/protesting at Ground Zero, close talkers, low rise pants, Jim Belushi, people from Ohio, child molesters, male flight attendants, douchbags, tattoos, cancer, home makeover shows, real estate agents, untalented singers, vegans, mosquitoes, bad grammar, Deal or No Deal contestants, Dane Cook, buzzwords, not keeping score in little league, Woody Allen, coddling your children, irrational fear, slow drivers in the left lane, Kobe Bryant, hippies, unions, short sleeved dress shirts, Katherine Heigl, smug people, crying, celebrities views on politics, Taco Bell commercials, environmentalists, clowns, soccer players, Al Gore, MTV, rappers, poachers, Tila Tequila, spotted owls, private blogs, the Beatles, MySpace, Hipsters, greeting cards, slow walkers, modern art, political correctness, people with a Q in their name, The Pussycat Dolls, people who talk in movie theaters, ring tones, company web sites without listed prices, organic food, no free refills, low flow toilets, hangnails, Donald Trump, buying DVD’s (when was the last time anyone watched a dvd they own?), High School Musical, Gwyneth Paltrow, pineapple, 1-ply toilet paper, awkward elevator conversations with strangers, date gut, people who are rude to waiters/airport staff/janitors/etc., societies atrophying morals due to media such as Sex and the City and Entertainment Tonight, feminists, using the word “like” when it isn’t necessary, urine on bathroom floors, Tom Brady’s perfect life, “Vote or Die”, and countless others, but most of all I hate people who complain excessively.

17 comments:

Shana Dee said...

Oh, so you think I am a snob!? ;) Only to you. he he. I just need your email address so I can invite you to my blog world. I know you are just dying to know what I have been up to for the last 10 years. :) Really, nothing to shout about. But my email address is cheneyfun@gmail.com I'll send you an invite as soon as I get your email. Until then, I'm going to read what you have been doing. And just so you know, PK's wasn't the same w/o you there to make fat jokes!
Shana

Anonymous said...

Wow...are you lacking in the sleep department lately or do you mean the "six week" mark for you and Mel to listen to a little "Let's get it on..."? Find some way to get rid of some agression before you explode!!!

Melanie said...

After reading that, I have to wonder how I am not a part of the things you hate considering that you would put half or more of the things listed under a column titled "things Melanie likes". Maybe the whole opposites attract rule really does apply...that or since you were all of 22 and been home from your mission a year and a half you decided I was better than nothing? :o)

Mindi said...

Do you feel better (and ten pounds lighter) having got that off your chest?

Dolphinsbarn said...

I just like that dingleberries and Tila Tequila are in the same list... oh, and at first when I saw "Private Blogs," I thought it said "Pirate Blogs"... which I kind of like.

Jana said...

Mark!!! We did think about inviting you, but didn't blog stock and find you soon enough so you could get a flight. The PK reunion was really fun, Spencer had no clue about what happened to the delivery car. Fun to see you have a blog. Your bro. said you're in NYC? I'm in DC. If we head your direction I'll send you a note so we can all get together for dinner. You little girl is sooo cute by the way! Congratulations! I would love to see the baby blog. My email is janaferrel@hotmail.com.

Jana said...

Oh just read that you're in Minneapolis. Never mind about dinner, we never go there :) My sis-in law lived there and loved it, I hope you guys are enjoying it! I like you live feed at the bottom, I'm stealing it! Take Care!

Jana said...

Oh just read that you're in Minneapolis. Never mind about dinner, we never go there :) My sis-in law lived there and loved it, I hope you guys are enjoying it! I like you live feed at the bottom, I'm stealing it! Take Care!

Shana Dee said...

I have officially been entertained, offended and laughed out loud at your blog. It had taken me awhile to skim through your posts and I now have a small idea of what your life has been like in the last few years; NY, marriage, baby, moving, job, and sh*! talking. Seems thing haven't changed too much from the Mark I knew. I like your book list. You were always one for deep thinking and knowing where you stand. Tennyson is dang cute! She must take after your wife. A lady in my ward just named her son Tennison. Do you pronounce her name ten-a-son? I'd like vip access into her blog. I bet your a great Dad and filling her head full of useful things she'll someday need.

I've been to Minneapolis a few times. I work for AVEDA as a color educator and their head quarters are in Blane. I was grateful for the sky walks downtown since it was freeking cold and windy. Next time I am there, I'd love to meet up.

Shana

Krista said...

Yeah, midget fingers have always ticked me off, too. Well said!

Kristin and Jay said...

Hey Mark, I found you off of Jana's blog. Yep, I'm a pathetic blog stalker. Steve gave us the update on you the other week (Brandon also likes to brag to me about how cool you ended up =)and now I get to read it from your words, which crack me up. You haven't changed a bit! You officially had me laughing out loud!! By the way, your baby girl is so cute! I hope you don't ruin her!!! =) Oh and fat people have been on your nerves for a long time huh? Brandon still uses a lot of your Shana fat jokes and cracks himself up all the time =)!!!!
Kristin (Sloan) Singleton

Mark said...

Glad to see a little bit of anger can unite old friends from Rigby. Although I left the meth labs of 1J quite a while ago, it will always hold a special place in my little black heart.

Trish: I thought I already made it clear that the bedroom cd player only plays Devo.
Jeff: Please send me any links to pirate blogs.

Nachelle said...

Wow, that was quite a rant and for Mel's & T's sake, hope you got it all out...good luck on the 6 weeks!

Britnee said...

I was a little surprised to hear about your aversion to midget fingers. I seem to recall a seminary class where we kicked around the idea of having a working midget ranch. Do you think midgets can still perform all of their midgetly duties in mittens?

Britnee

Anonymous said...

Seriously..Devo?? Man, you're pretty lucky to have gotten Mel pregnant the first time you actually had sex! Was the CD player broke that night or something???

Anonymous said...

Hahaha uncle mark is there anything you do like? how can you SUPPOSEDLY hate greys anatomy. you must hate me becuse i love cats and own one. BASICALLY i want a million of them haha.

Derik said...

Slow drivers in the left lane is an Idaho thing!@! I never saw it in Texas, but its all over Idaho and has migrated south to Utah as well. But to make it worse they wont get the heck out of the way either! Man am I glad to not be there anymore!