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The front of the house (obviously). Mark is taking great pride in his lawn and all of the maintenance that comes with it. He is adapting to life as an 80 year old man very well.
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And since we are discussing TV... I might as well launch into my plans for the Fall Premiere Season (Deal or No Deal started it off last night). Trustworthy EW gave me a lovely handy dandy reference guide of all the new shows and returning shows for the season to ensure I don't miss a thing! There looks to be some good freshman shows this year, and inevitabley there looks to be some stinkers (Cavemen anyone?), but I am looking forward to Pushing Daises (which I know I have previously mentioned) the most. I think I will also check out Chuck, Journeyman, Viva Laughlin (yes I watched CopRock when it was on too - but this one has Hugh Jackman!), Samantha Who (might be cute), Aliens in America, Reaper and Bionic Woman might be worth a looksy. I figure anything is worth a one time watching - some might be worth two, but some might never find themselves on my DVR again.
Returning shows that will find a place on my DVR though: Amazing Race (when it starts up), Medium, L&O (all of them), Scrubs, 30 Rock, My Name is Earl, ANTM, Idol, DWTS (love ballroom!), and Ugly Betty. Of course some of those get more of my love than others and might end up being erased without being watched!! The most glaring omission is LOST - when will February come???? - but that will be the most anticipated season opener ever, it's going to be so good!!
If there is only one thing you take from this post, please let it be to give 30 Rock (season premiere Thursday October 4th, 8:30pm) a shot - if you don't like it, I will send you a personal blogpology for making you sit through 30 minutes of time you feel was not well spent - just email me and let me know!
After looking back at the last month or so of posts on “our” blog, I realized that our blog is really gay. I mean no offense in that phrase, but come on, Britney Spears, Fraggle Rock, Calgon, Fergie, and Hairspray, these are some pretty effeminate topics. It’s no surprise that very few guys blog, because while reading their wife’s and their wife’s friends posts their testicles are slowly shrinking, sucking-up and turning into ovaries. From now on I will try to post a little more often to try to balance out the testosterone to estrogen levels on blogspot. So ladies, brush up on your football lingo and penis jokes because you’re going to get a little more testosterone over at the Smith’s. Hopefully some of the other guys I know will get in on the action, because I only know so many slang terms for genitalia and my NFL watching has slowed in recent years.
My first blog topic is college football. I love my wife, but my Mormon heritage tells me it’s ok to have another wife, even if it is only on the weekends from September to January (Monday night is also part of the weekend and occasionally Thursdays). I have been out of the game for the last two weekends due to moving and painting, but I was able to catch a little bit of action at Buffalo Wild Wings for lunch and Deadspin has kept me up to date. My first conclusion for this season is that University of Michigan player’s huevos have shrunk, and not like Ken Caminiti’s. (Is it ok to make a joke at the expense of dead baseball player’s steroid issues? If not, then tough; I figured it was more safe than a Chris Benoit reference.) Having attended games at the big house I must admit that I am a pretty big fan of the Big Blue, but it may change if Lloyd Carr isn’t taken in the street and shot like the rabid dog that he is. Has anyone heard from Marty Downen lately? If UofM loses to Notre Dame this weekend you may want to put him on suicide watch. The only relief I have is knowing that at least my nights after the losses were better than Coach Carr’s. Our friends at EDSBS gave a touching narrative of the night after the game at the Carr home:
Lloyd sits in his garage, alone. A single light bulb burns above him. The floor is swept clean; he sits on a lawn chair in the dark. A bottle of scotch sits next to him; two buckets in front of him.
[SQUEEEEEEEE!!!! (Snap!) ]
Lloyd Carr: (sip.)
Laurie Carr: (from somewhere in the house.) Honey? You coming in for dinner?
Lloyd Carr: Hrrrmph.
Laurie Carr: Honey?
Lloyd Carr: I hear ya, I hear ya. Just another–
[SQUEEEEEEE!!!! (Snap.) ]
Lloyd: –few, I swear.
Laurie: Recycling’s going out tonight, remember?
Lloyd: Hrrrrmph.
Laurie: I said, did you remember to–
[SQUEEEEEEEE!!!! (Snap!) ]
Lloyd: Yes, yes, YES. I heard you the first time.
Laurie: Then why didn’t you say anything, honey—
Lloyd: Because I’m BUSY, that’s why! Busy…
Laurie approaches the door, looks in and sees Lloyd with his head buried in his hands.
Laurie: Oh, Lloyd.
Lloyd pauses in his work. He stares, a lost man looking at his hands.
Lloyd: …trying to figure this whole thing…out.
[SQUEEEEEEEE!!!! (Snap!)]
Laurie: You know I love you, right?
Lloyd: I know, honey.
Laurie: And the kids? They love you, too.
[SQUEEEEEEEE!!!! (Snap!)]
Lloyd: Yes, yes, I know, honey.
Laurie: And you’ll get through this, you know this, right?
Lloyd: I know, I know.
Laurie tenderly touches Lloyd’s shoulder. He puts his hand over hers, and together the years of marriage and shared love reveal themselves in one single, touching gesture.
Laurie: Tell you what. I’ll take the recycling out, and you just come into dinner when you’re ready, okay baby?
[SQUEEEEEEEE!!!! (Snap!)]
Lloyd: Okay, darlin’.
Laurie leaves, then ducks her head back in the door to the darkened garage.
Laurie: Any idea when that would be, sweet cheeks?
Lloyd: As soon as I work through this bucket, sweetheart.
Laurie: And how long is that?
Lloyd: I dunno. There’s a lot of kittens in this bucket.
Laurie: And you have to kill them all, right?
Lloyd: Yes, dear. Every last one of them.
Laurie: See you then, baby.
[SQUEEEEEEEE!!!! (Snap!)]
(End scene.)
Now that 90% of the readers of this blog are offended it is time to sign off until next week when I can mock either Michigan or Notre Dame.
(I don’t expect this blog to stay up too long after “The First Lady” takes a look at it so please tell your husbands to blog for my support, sanity and satchel of fury.)
I had a rousing conversation with a co-worker this morning about LOST. He is not a LOST watcher, but I think I may have converted him!! It got me super excited for the new season, but then made me sad since it won't start until late January or early February. At least there won't be any repeats in between episodes! Any one have any good new TV shows they are looking forward to this fall? I am hearing pretty darn good things about Pushing Daisies, so I might have to give that one a try. So many reasons to love Fall!! :o)
Any shows you're looking forward to? Any new thoughts/theories on LOST?