To Pee or Not to Pee

I can't keep it in any longer. Every day it bombards me, seeps into my brain, occupies thought, and drives me crazy.

Seriously, what is the big deal with Miley Cyrus?! If I hear one more story or song about her I might just have to have a chat with someone.

It's easy enough to tell I am not on the Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana bandwagon (thankfully she'll be old news by the time T is old enough...although there will be someone, or something else I am sure). I've never seen the show, and I have only heard one or two songs thanks to the radio. I never really had a problem with her until I saw her video and when she performed on the Today Show. Now it's not like I have an actual problem with her or anything, she just bugs me...and the main reason for this bugging you might ask? Has anyone ever watched her dance?

I swear she is having a seizure!! She makes Elaine look like she belongs on So You Think You Can Dance. Wouldn't you think Miss Cyrus would have a choreographer? I would. Maybe the choreographer wants her to look like she is epileptic or really, really has to pee.

It's bugged me for a long time and I just couldn't keep it in anymore, thanks for letting me vent.

You Can't Judge a Book by It's Cover...or Can You?

So in the few short weeks we have been parents, I have found a new frustration. I don't know if all parents, or mothers specifically, have this frustration, but I don't see it can be avoided.
Being a first time parent for anyone can be stressful enough with just being pregnant and all that it entails, add on to that having to buy every gadget ever made for baby, or at least that you think you need but probably don't, and it is a wonder people even have babies. Even more stressful, and more important (outside of buying the cutest clothes ever made) is how you will parent that little baby. Granted things like discipline are not needed at this young age, but how on earth will you schedule your baby's day, or will you schedule it at all? I guess it depends on what book you read, what your Doctor tells you, how your Mother thinks you should do it, or how the wind blows. Whatever method you go with, I say congratulations, because I don't know how you decided. I thought we would go one way, but after trying it for a few days I realized it just made me feel like I was inadequate and stressed me out too much. Not too mention it made me feel like I was missing out a little bit on baby time - you know, the sit on the couch while you watch Law and Order and the little one sleeps ever so soundly (or ever so grunty like ours does) on your chest.

It seems that everyone and their dog has a "theory" on how you should parent a newborn, but does anyone take into consideration the personalities of these little newborns? I'm sorry but my little one does not take 4 or 5 naps a day that last up to 2 hours. I am lucky if I can get her to sleep 45 minutes in the afternoon...unless I want to spend every nap time with her sleeping on me, then I think she might tend to sleep all day. I would love it if she slept 9 hours a night, but right now we get up to 6 hours in a row, a 40 minute interruption and then another 2-3 hours. I think that's pretty good, but according to some, if it's not a straight 9 hours we are doing something wrong.

As my Dad mentioned numerous times while they were here when T was born, they never had all of these books, or theories or rules to newborn care. Heck, they didn't even have car seats!! Sleeping on their back? Never, tummies were the best sleep position.

Sure times change and thankfully technology, science, medicine and knowledge have enlightened us in some areas, and mostly for the good. I am all for what will help babies, but for any parent who reads all of these books and opinions... it seems like confusion, stress and maybe a little self-doubt are the only things you will get from them!

I've found a few nuggets of wisdom that we like and want to make into our routine, but I think some "experts" seem to overlook that gut feeling about what a parent feels is right for them and their baby. If your baby only naps for 45 minutes at a time, but is happy and healthy... I guess you just have to become super efficient at getting things done with minimal time!

Who knows, maybe we will end up scarring T because she isn't sleeping for 10 hours at night when she is 8 weeks old, or maybe she will be cold, distant and hate us because we didn't cuddle with her enough... given who her father is, I think there is a good enough chance of that anyway, right? Just kidding Mark! Sort of. No really.

Anyway, maybe some more "seasoned" parents out there have different opinions on baby matters and theories that they swear up and down by, but I just don't know if I want to even try reading what any more "experts" have to say. I'll just go with the flow, try to get our own routine down and hope little T has a little bit of fun with Mom every day!

Sesame Street Has Changed Man

Mutterings

I wish I had more exciting rants to share, but staying indoors/near home every day kind of limits the amount of crazy I was exposed to with my daily bus rides and many hours spent at Target. No more crazy backing in stories, or weird-o bus riders to silently curse on my way home. One thing I did learn from being a bus rider is that I have an uncanny talent for knowing whether or not I like someone just from watching them in line or on the bus. It's quite amazing how much you can dislike someone that you have never talked to just because they chomp their gum in your ear for the entire 40 minutes bus ride.
What I have learned since being home is that there are some crazy disgusting people in the world. I have discovered a couple of shows on BBC America. The first is How Clean is Your House. I should start off by saying that I am not a clean freak, or remotely close to the world's best house cleaner, but I do clean my toilet when it needs it (ring around the bowl), and when we run out of forks, I'll do the dishes. However, this show makes me feel like the world's tidiest person EVER. I can understand not vacuuming for a couple of weeks, or even dusting (who likes to dust anyway?), but the people/families they have on this show have not cleaned their homes in over a decade or more. Now when my house is dirty, it's because the junk mail has piled up on the counter, or the pile of clothes I have tried on is on the floor...but for these folk when their house is dirty they have food on the floor, garbage spread throughout, toilets with poo caked on, dead animals (mice, rats, bugs) and piles upon piles of stuff everywhere - it has to be stepped on to walk through a room! The two hosts of the show go in and basically teach every day cleaning skills and also take samples of the grime and dirt to inform the homeowners just how dangerous it is to live in their house. Usually the lab finds e coli, salmonella, listeria and lots and lots of fecal matter (usually from the kitchen...how it gets there I don't know, and I don't want to know). So the hosts and their team of amazing people come in, clean the house and hope to high heaven they don't contract some awful illness. It always amazes me how they find people for this show, but apparently there are plenty of dirty people out there.
The second show is You Are What You Eat. This revolves around those with bad eating habits... not just the occasional ice cream cone or chocolate bar, but people who never eat a fruit or vegetable in a week (yes, I know, Mark would fall into this category if I didn't force him to cook veggies with dinner or take a banana for lunch). The host of this show will have someone keep track of what has been eaten in a week by the "star" of the show, and then they lay it out on a table for all to see. I always think it is so disgusting, and SO much food... but then I try to think about what I eat in a week and wonder what it would look like. I feel better because I know I eat fruit and veggies every day and I don't eat fast food 3 meals a day, so I think I would do alright. The best part of the show is that the host requires the star to give her a poo sample and she then analyzes it. The part I think is hilarious about this is that they blur out the poo!! Go ahead and show sex and violence on TV, but heaven forbid we see a chunk of poo. Anyway, the host puts the person on a very restrictive and colourful (fruits and veggies) diet for 8 weeks and requires them to do some sort of exercise and then at the end of the 8 weeks they tell how much weight they have lost and how much better they feel. It's always interesting to see the changes that can occur in just 8 weeks... kind of makes you think a little more about the food you eat, or at least how much and how often you eat it.
The one other random pet peeve I had this last week was why don't cities put sidewalks in everywhere. It seems so arbitrary. One block has a sidewalk and then it ends... and then 2 blocks later, it starts again. On one of our walks last week, I took a few wrong turns and realized how much easier it is to walk with a stroller on a sidewalk. Is it only newer subdivisions or streets that get sidewalks? Our street doesn't have a sidewalk, and the main street off of ours has a sidewalk for part of the street...but not all of the street? Did they run out of money? I think if I won a pile of money I would put sidewalks in everywhere.
I realize I am not up to par on my random rants (in my book anyway), hopefully I will get back into the swing of things soon... I was just tired of being reminded of Mark's hatred for pretty much everything. Maybe next time he can open up and not be so shy with how he really feels.

Things I Hate

Maybe it's the warm weather, Carlin's death, the fact that everything has been so good for me lately, or maybe the six week rule, but today I've noticed lots of little things that annoy me. In no particular order, here are some things that I hate.

Punks, Al Sharpton, dingleberries, Rachel Ray, hiccups, hearing about your kids, popped collars, loud talkers, cute text spellings, cats, beginning a sentence with "basically", bluetooth headsets, Tim Treadwell, carbon credits, Crocs, "supposably", cat owners, ADD, snot, Mac commercials, Fergie, genocide, rolled up jeans, cigarettes, people who buy lottery tickets, Oprah, jazz music, suspenders and belts together, New Jersey, old wives tales, Mormon Folklore, Grey’s Anatomy, L Ron Hubbard and his followers, gum on my shoes, Liberals, midget's fingers, paying for haircuts, sad drunks, Eva Longoria, people who don't hit clear on the office microwave after using it, paparazzi, the DH, Madonna, pushy old Asian ladies, Jesse Jackson, fat people sitting next to me, dancing shows, panhandling/performing/protesting at Ground Zero, close talkers, low rise pants, Jim Belushi, people from Ohio, child molesters, male flight attendants, douchbags, tattoos, cancer, home makeover shows, real estate agents, untalented singers, vegans, mosquitoes, bad grammar, Deal or No Deal contestants, Dane Cook, buzzwords, not keeping score in little league, Woody Allen, coddling your children, irrational fear, slow drivers in the left lane, Kobe Bryant, hippies, unions, short sleeved dress shirts, Katherine Heigl, smug people, crying, celebrities views on politics, Taco Bell commercials, environmentalists, clowns, soccer players, Al Gore, MTV, rappers, poachers, Tila Tequila, spotted owls, private blogs, the Beatles, MySpace, Hipsters, greeting cards, slow walkers, modern art, political correctness, people with a Q in their name, The Pussycat Dolls, people who talk in movie theaters, ring tones, company web sites without listed prices, organic food, no free refills, low flow toilets, hangnails, Donald Trump, buying DVD’s (when was the last time anyone watched a dvd they own?), High School Musical, Gwyneth Paltrow, pineapple, 1-ply toilet paper, awkward elevator conversations with strangers, date gut, people who are rude to waiters/airport staff/janitors/etc., societies atrophying morals due to media such as Sex and the City and Entertainment Tonight, feminists, using the word “like” when it isn’t necessary, urine on bathroom floors, Tom Brady’s perfect life, “Vote or Die”, and countless others, but most of all I hate people who complain excessively.