Waiting Room

Today was my monthly Doctor's appointment.  I know, you all wanted to know that, you're welcome.

Anyway.  I thought about a few things while I was there and thought I would share them with you.  You're welcome again.

1. What is it about that paper sheet?  Why does it give so much security?  Do you not realize what it going to happen next?  You would think given what is about to happen, that sitting there without the see-through paper sheet wouldn't make a huge difference...but for whatever reason, it does.
2. Who is more uncomfortable, the patient on the "table" or the nurse that just gets to stand by and witness the exam?  Should a conversation be started or does that make it even more awkward?  It's a wee bit more awkward when it's not your Doctor's regular nurse, but really...you know they've got to love that part of the job...exam witnesser!
3. Why does anyone really care if Kate Gosselin is on another reality TV show? (People was the only magazine in the room).
4. The weigh-in is probably the worst part of the exam.  Seriously.
5. Getting a shot in the butt is the most awkward thing.  Even more than being the exam witnesser.  It's awesome having your pants pulled down around your butt, half leaning over a table.
6. Looking forward to bi-weekly exams now...they're coming.  That means the end is nearing.
7. I don't care what Mark says, Mr. Roboto is truly an awesome song and I will love it until the day I die.

Hungry Hungry Hippos

Wow.  With everyone posting pictures of their pregnant bellies, I am beginning to feel the pressure.  I am not usually one to cave into peer pressure, but this time I feel I need to - if only to show the others that they are indeed not huge!  I guess the second time around, you just don't feel like documenting it like you did the first time.  Not that I was a picture by the week sort of girl, but we did have a few pictures for evidence that I really was pregnant.  This time, the last thing I want is a picture of me pregnant.  And given that by the time Mark gets home from work, there is a good chance I am either still in, or changed into, pj pants...there are not a lot of picture taking opportunities!

But I will take one for the team...take a picture and post it up here for all the world to see.  Too bad I can't do a belly side by side with Mark this time around since he has no belly to speak of anymore. (Who goes on a diet with a pregnant wife anyway??)

So since I am actually dressed and presentable on Sundays I thought today would be the perfect day.  I never ask Mark to take my picture (I am not such a willing participant) but I figured it would be best to get it over with.  I hate pictures.  I always feel so posed, cheesy and fake.  But oh well.  I'll swallow my pride and post pictures to assure the world that yes, hippopotamuses do live on land.

Tennyson's attempt at a picture of me this morning

More of a close up so anyone who is interested can check out the new 'do

Not sure if a dress makes you look smaller or bigger...

not that it really matters

This one's just funny because Mark took the picture after I started to move my hands from the "look how big my belly looks when I hold my dress" pose, but instead it just looks like I have to pee...which is probably true anyway.

So there you have it, pregnancy in all of it's glory.  Now the Boy will know I was pregnant with him and won't hate me entirely for not taking as many pictures (not that we actually took a lot with T either).  We'll try to make up for it once he arrives.

New Kiddie Blog

So I started a new blog...one just for the kiddies instead of trying to keep separate ones for each kid.  As was T's, this one is private too....if you'd like an invite let me know.  If you had an invite to T's, you should have already been sent a new invite to the new one.  If you never had an invite to T's (sorry) let me know and I can send you one to each.  If you like keeping up to date with T's ongoings, I'll be posting to the new one now, so don't miss out!! :o)  If you don't want an invite, that's fine too, if I sent one to you already and you don't want it, don't accept.  I promise it won't hurt my feelings...too much anyway.  I know all of you want to know the day to day of life at home with my child(ren).  Or at least want to know when this boy makes his debut...right????

So if you didn't get an invite and want one, just leave me a comment or email me and I will send one out to you!

What To-Do?

I began a to-do list the other day. I know, not very exciting or cutting edge, but I figured it might help us get some things done before the last minute (I won't hold my breath for that happening, but I can try, right?). This list includes everything from grocery shopping, to bill paying, to deck building, to painting the boy's room, to whatever random thing enters my mind that day that needs to be done. I'm not sure an ongoing to-do list is the way to go. So far the list has gotten longer and only two things have been accomplished (a bill pay and a phone call).

I thought having this to-do list would help me actually make some decisions for the child...no such luck. For whatever reason I can not decide on paint colours or cribbing and I have no motivation to have the inevitable fight over what name will be chosen.

It doesn't help when bedding sets for infants cost anywhere up to $2000 (what???), I have no inspiration this time around, no one fabric to base colours on and no help with painting and sewing. This kid won't mind sleeping in a laundry basket in our room, will he? If I could only make one of those decisions, like what colour to paint the room, at least I would be able to narrow the bedding search down, or vice versa, but I can't!! I did see one set I liked but it was almost $200 and I am not sure I can justify spending that much when I don't even spend that much on bedding for me! And let's not get started on prices of kids shoes...seriously??

So after all my hopes of being organized on and top of things over the next few months, this to-do list creating has only made me more overwhelmed. I might need some reinforcements.

Anyone who knows any stores or websites with cute, not so baby like, bedding options that won't send me into debt, please share!

Life Bulleted

• Las Vegas is not for a pregnant lady with gestational diabetes
• Life will go smoothly until you return home; then child reverts to poor sleeping habits and crankiness
• Mini eggs are even more tempting after Easter, when they are on sale and a diabetic no-no; so are creme eggs
• Apparently corona (or any other alcohol) is an acceptable form of breakfast in Las Vegas
• Preparing for the vacation always takes longer than adjusting back to regular life
• Even though it feels like your belly can not get any bigger... it always finds a way to surprise you, making you feel even more hippo-tastic
• Three days of 80 degree weather have quenched any desire for a warm summer. Please keep it to the 70's and everyone around me will be better off
• Outlet shopping is never as fun when you are pregnant
• May 23 can't come soon enough, yet at the same time I don't want it to ever come
• Hiring a personal grocery shopper might not be a bad idea
• Chocolate cheerios and fresh raspberries are awesome for breakfast or any time of day
• GD I rue the fact that I must live with you and not enjoy chocolate milk, ice cream, key lime pie and all other forms of sugary goodness (chocolate cheerios and raspberries included)

Boy OH Boy

I realized a few things this weekend.

Maternity clothes suck. There are too many people at the Mall of America. Burger King does not satisfy. And boy clothes suck all the life out of me.

We ventured down to the MOA with the hopes of finding some clothes for me that I can squeeze myself into, a few little things for T, and some great starter pieces for the boy (yes, we are having a boy if you hadn't heard). The MOA has a few stores that are not in any other mall in the MN area, so my hopes were high for what I might find. We spent a good 4-5 hours at the mall (it's impossible to spend less when you are actually shopping and not just roaming around) and came home with 3 things boy, and all it is are onesies, a pair of pj's and a t-shirt. So disappointing. I kept drifting over to the girls clothes and Mark had to keep reeling me back over to the boy side. It's pretty safe to say that this boy will not have anything close to the amount of clothes his sister had, has and will have. Which Mark is probably excited about! Luckily we have a few months to search and scour before winding up with a small baby clad only in diapers due to a lack of clothing. Girl clothes on the other hand....oh my! It's probably best we're not having another girl or soon this house would be flooded with clothes. Why the discrepancy between boy and girl clothes, clothes-makers?? I know boys don't wear dresses, but there must be something other than trucks and animals that make boys clothes boyish, right?

Now, maternity clothes. It's either $20 for a t-shirt or $550 for leather leggings. Is there nothing in between? Of course there is, but I can't find it, and I can't justify $100 on a dress or a shirt I will wear only for a few months. Since I'm not working I don't have to worry about work wear, which is nice, but I would still like to have some somewhat stylish clothes, not just sweats and a tank top! If that was the case, I would just wear my pj pants and Mark's t-shirts outside instead of just around the house!

So if anyone has any tips on places to buy cool boy clothes and nice maternity clothes that don't cost an arm and a leg, would you mind sharing your finds with me? Otherwise this boy will be naked AND nameless!! (The name issue is a post all on it's own).

Toe Tapping

When does the reality of pregnancy really set in? After the positive test result? After an ultrasound? Morning sickness? Holding a baby in your arms?

For me...it's saying good bye to my toes. I'll miss all ten of you little guys. Take care, soon you'll be on your own for a little while. Hopefully it won't be too long until we are reunited, but until then, don't count on looking pretty or being well looked after. I'm sorry if you feel smothered come summer since you probably won't be playing peek-a-boo with the outside world. I promise to wear the cutest non peep toe shoes I can find. Maybe if we're lucky we can get a certain someone to pretty you up one day, but I'm not sure you'll let any one touch you long enough for a makeover. We don't want to chance giving someone a concussion for touching you, but it is highly likely that will happen, so please don't be mad at me for neglecting you. We'll glam it up in a few months, I promise.

English 101

So I guess no one is enjoying my attempt at reliving my days of fluency in French as much as I am. Someday I will be fluent again! Not that there is a great need for French in Minnesota, but that's irrelevant.

Alright kids, for those of you who don't speak French, or don't look at the labels posted under the blog entry, this is for you!!

This July, little Tennyson 2.0 will be making his/her appearance. Sadly, my appearance will probably not return to normal for many, many, many months afterward. Here's to months of peanut M&M's, chocolate milk and chocolate chip cookies. Who am I kidding, it's only a matter of weeks until the gestational diabetes rears its ugly head. But until then...who wants to bring me some key lime pie??

Commencez à Étendre les Nouvelles

Que s'attendre quand vous vous attendez à un autre paquet de joie? Moins de sommeil, moins de fonction du cerveau, moins de nettoyage de maison. Plus de bruit, plus de rire, plus de photo ops, moments plus heureux de famille. Espérons que nous avons plus de dernier.

Il va être un été long.

What Brings You By?

When randomly checking the blog, I usually peruse the little counter at the bottom to see if I have made it to the celeb blogosphere level yet (I haven't) and also to see where traffic is coming from. Sometimes I recognize the traffic, most of the time I don't. Since the blog is listed on our facebook accounts, I realize any number of people can pop in and see what we're complaining about, but I wonder just what brings people by? With the exception of known blog readers (which seems to be dwindling... ahem!) who are probably checking in to see if we've relented and posted pics of T on here so they don't have to log in to the private blog, what brings someone from Vught, Noord-Brabant to our blog? (Where is Vught, Noord-Brabant anyway??)

I looked a little deeper, and it seems certain blog entries get much more google search results than others and it just makes me curious as to what these folks searching for and why my blog comes up as a result?

Here are a few that seem to get the most traffic:

• is it the bow? (this seems to get THE most traffic)
• such awesome times of the year?
• the logo? (this gets rank #2)
• their faces?

And here are a few of the places people are dropping in from:

• Miami
• Alberta
• California
• Alabama
• Tokyo
• Bethlehem
• Vinkovci, Vukovarsko-Srijemska
• Anoual, Nador
• Petaling Jaya, Wilayah Persekutuan
• Pennsylvania
• Oregon
• Portici, Campania
• Montesilvano, Abruzzi

...and a myriad of other places. What's interesting to me is that a lot of these very foreign (Bethlehem!!) searchers seem to be drawn to our blog all because of that blasted baby in a headband! Perhaps baby headbands are even more rampant outside North America!
I guess long after I'm gone I'll be remembered for my hatred of baby headbands, especially those larger than the baby itself, and for breaking crock pots.

Hearing Aids

My new fave of the week... adjustable volume on kids toys.

Can we please give the person who finally decided that the whole world does not need to hear the musical insanity that goes hand in hand with kids toys, a prize? Seriously.
I love how T does not know that there are 2 levels to the music yet...we can still have some, limited, peace and quiet for awhile!

For the Love of...

With all that's going on with the economy, I have one more to add to Jeff's timely list. Thanks to celebrities, head shrinkers will never need to worry about job security... well, thanks to celebrities who have kids.

You Can't Judge a Book by It's Cover...or Can You?

So in the few short weeks we have been parents, I have found a new frustration. I don't know if all parents, or mothers specifically, have this frustration, but I don't see it can be avoided.
Being a first time parent for anyone can be stressful enough with just being pregnant and all that it entails, add on to that having to buy every gadget ever made for baby, or at least that you think you need but probably don't, and it is a wonder people even have babies. Even more stressful, and more important (outside of buying the cutest clothes ever made) is how you will parent that little baby. Granted things like discipline are not needed at this young age, but how on earth will you schedule your baby's day, or will you schedule it at all? I guess it depends on what book you read, what your Doctor tells you, how your Mother thinks you should do it, or how the wind blows. Whatever method you go with, I say congratulations, because I don't know how you decided. I thought we would go one way, but after trying it for a few days I realized it just made me feel like I was inadequate and stressed me out too much. Not too mention it made me feel like I was missing out a little bit on baby time - you know, the sit on the couch while you watch Law and Order and the little one sleeps ever so soundly (or ever so grunty like ours does) on your chest.

It seems that everyone and their dog has a "theory" on how you should parent a newborn, but does anyone take into consideration the personalities of these little newborns? I'm sorry but my little one does not take 4 or 5 naps a day that last up to 2 hours. I am lucky if I can get her to sleep 45 minutes in the afternoon...unless I want to spend every nap time with her sleeping on me, then I think she might tend to sleep all day. I would love it if she slept 9 hours a night, but right now we get up to 6 hours in a row, a 40 minute interruption and then another 2-3 hours. I think that's pretty good, but according to some, if it's not a straight 9 hours we are doing something wrong.

As my Dad mentioned numerous times while they were here when T was born, they never had all of these books, or theories or rules to newborn care. Heck, they didn't even have car seats!! Sleeping on their back? Never, tummies were the best sleep position.

Sure times change and thankfully technology, science, medicine and knowledge have enlightened us in some areas, and mostly for the good. I am all for what will help babies, but for any parent who reads all of these books and opinions... it seems like confusion, stress and maybe a little self-doubt are the only things you will get from them!

I've found a few nuggets of wisdom that we like and want to make into our routine, but I think some "experts" seem to overlook that gut feeling about what a parent feels is right for them and their baby. If your baby only naps for 45 minutes at a time, but is happy and healthy... I guess you just have to become super efficient at getting things done with minimal time!

Who knows, maybe we will end up scarring T because she isn't sleeping for 10 hours at night when she is 8 weeks old, or maybe she will be cold, distant and hate us because we didn't cuddle with her enough... given who her father is, I think there is a good enough chance of that anyway, right? Just kidding Mark! Sort of. No really.

Anyway, maybe some more "seasoned" parents out there have different opinions on baby matters and theories that they swear up and down by, but I just don't know if I want to even try reading what any more "experts" have to say. I'll just go with the flow, try to get our own routine down and hope little T has a little bit of fun with Mom every day!

Who wants to be a VIP?

So I have joined the ranks of the baby blog, sort of... we have created a new blog for all things Tennyson related. I am going to jump on the bandwagon and keep it limited to those we know however...so if you'd like to be a witness to Mark's parenting skills, leave a comment with your email and we will make sure you get a front row seat to watch our little T grow up to realize her parents are great, big nerds.

Yes Mom and Dad that means you will have to leave a comment or I won't add you to the invited bloggers and you'll never get to see pictures of your granddaughter!! mwah hahaha!

**Just to calm fears of Mark and I abandoning our random rants and offenses - this blog will keep going strong; it will just be T's blog that we have private**

What Percent Are You?

So with all this baby stuff going on, the blog has been neglected the past couple of weeks... I can't really say I have had any desire to blog to be honest. Given our stance that this won't become a shrine to our little Tennyson, and the fact that no sleep equals brain mush - the blog ideas have shriveled up. I could tell everyone about the awesomeness of early morning/late night tv, but then my blog would be full of lies, and we all know I am not a good liar. So let me say a quick shout out to my DVR and the shows that keep me company at any given hour of the day or night. (Thank you A&E for getting me addicted to Intervention, and for giving me another season of The Two Coreys.)

Well, today my brain may have kicked back into gear, even if only temporarily due to a decent amount of consecutive hours of sleep.
I was at T's two week follow-up and I started thinking...when (and why) do Doctor's stop telling you your height and weight percentiles? How fun would that be as an adult? Probably not very much, but it would be pretty funny to go to your yearly Doctor's check up to be told that you've gained 6 pounds but you haven't grown any taller, so you fall into the 53rd percentile for height and the 95th percentile for weight... I wonder if it would motivate people to lose weight, or gain weight...either way I think it would be funny. Not that I really want to be told that I am off the charts for my weight (at least right now I could kind of blame it on post-pregnancy weight, right?) and slightly above average for my height, but it would make each check-up a little more interesting. You could make bets each year to see where you fall on the scale! We could get the Vegas odds-makers in on it too and turn it into the next big gambling idea! If they can place bets on how long the U.S. anthem will last at the World Series, or which way the coin toss will fall...we can bet on anything, right? It's the next great get rich quick scheme!
So I am sure most of you aren't stopping by here for my random rants on even more random topics anymore...but be warned, as the days go by, my random ranting will return, not to mention so will Mark's random and slightly offensive rantings! But for now I will cut to what everyone is waiting for (and by everyone, I mean probably just Grandparents and a few aunts!) you want T's stats, don't you?? At her first appointment she weighed 7 pounds 7 ounces (drumroll please...) she now weighs 7 pounds 13 ounces - putting her squarely in the 25th percentile for weight. She also grew a whole inch and now comes in at 21.25 inches in length, which puts her in the 75th percentile for height. Somehow we wound up with a very long and lean child... which boggles our minds given our thoughts that she would probably inherit my short waistedness and Mark's even shorter inseam - topping out at a whole 3 feet tall at her tallest. So we're not quite sure where she gets it from, but if she keeps it up, she should be a happy teenager!! Well, once she gets over the vampire-esque glow of her skin she should be happy!

Zestpoole, Walkasheaqua, Tugdick*...help us decide!

As time is winding down, we are left with one of life's biggest decisions...what in the world do we name a little person?? If you scan the shelves at any store that sells books, you'll see book upon book of names, some claiming to list over 100,000 name choices!! How is someone supposed to narrow it down to just one name? It sort of reminds me of the menu at The Cheesecake Factory (have you looked at that thing??) - way too many choices to remember what you saw on page one. You have to take notes as you flip through it so you can remember what sounded good!

I have never been very good at making decisions, especially when there are too many choices in front of me (luckily our name book only had 60,000+ names to leaf through). Somehow though we have narrowed it down to two names. The hard part will be picking the winner - I have convinced Mark that however determined he is for "his" name to be the winner, to wait until he sees the little one before his mind is completely set in stone.

Mark has very rigid guidelines for picking names. Some of these were that it couldn't be on any "top" lists - top 10, top 100 etc. I am like the anti-bandwagon jumper. For some reason, unless I liked it prior to a rise to fame, I will not join in the fun of something if it has become a pop culture phenomenon (i.e. Harry Potter - I just refuse and you can't make me)...I know I am weird like that. Anyway, so no top baby name list entries is the first guideline. My next guideline was that the name has to be a "bit" different, and by a bit I mean every so slightly - like Melanie. People are familiar with it, but it's not the name of every other girl in your kindergarten class. Especially for a girl being given the last name of Smith, you need something a "little" different (I am afraid we won't be naming anyone Emma, or Joseph). Mark's next guideline is on a little different wavelength than mine, but the name can not be associated with anyone in the adult entertainment industry (Sorry Jenna and Traci).

So after the names pass those and a few other guidelines, Mark must do his usual anal rituals of googling names to see what comes up, how common it is, what searches it finds... checking social security records, the FBI's 10 Most Wanted lists...whatever he can find. It's a long process folks. For me, I just wanted us to go through our book individually, make up our lists and see if we had any of the same names written down (I think we wound up picking one name in common that we both liked). Then the fun part of vetoing names came. I have to say I was quite surprised with some of the names Mark came up with. After hearing all of his suggestions for a boys name (can I just say how glad I am that we're having a girl?!), I wasn't expecting most of the names he said he liked for a girl. I will leave it to him to share those with you at a later date so he can explain why he liked them (and why I vetoed them).

So here we are with our names, and Mark has made me swear not to tell them to anyone. He is so impressed with his name choice that he thinks once it is revealed everyone will bow down at his feet due to his pure genuis-ness.

What I want to know, is what do you think our name choices are? I wonder if anyone could guess what Mark has chosen. I am willing to bet that no one will be able to guess his choice, although if you really know Mark, it won't be a huge stretch to understand why he picked this name.

It's such a huge responsibility in naming a kid. You don't want them to hate you forever for the name you saddle them with, and you don't want a name that will make for obvious teasing on the playground...it's a big decision! So hopefully our child will not hate us no matter what we decide to name her!

And with that - let the guessing begin!! Don't disappoint me!

*A great big Thank You to the Utah Baby Namer (http://wesclark.com/ubn/) for the name suggestions!

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder, Right?

I guess unless you are as much of a LOST nerd as I am, you won't really pick up on the awesomeness of this little onesie a friend of mine was so thoughtful to give us. She also gave us one with "4 8 15 16 23 42"...again, unless you watch LOST, you're probably feeling lost right now. Mark was pretty stoked to see these when I got home last night too. This little one may permanently alternate between the two to ensure everyone knows how much her parents are geeks. Although I am guessing she will pick up on that pretty early in life.
This gift had to be the perfect precursor for tonight. Yes, as even more proof to our nerdness, we are anxiously awaiting the season finale of LOST (8:00 central time for all those who want to watch). As I say every season (and have yet to be disappointed) this episode is going to be awesome. How could 2 hours of LOST, not be awesome? This back half of season 4 has not disappointed and is right up there with season one in terms of greatness. We've been given answers (like who gets of the island) and have been left puzzling (we don't know HOW...is everyone else alive, or dead, or...something else. What about Claire? Christian? Who the heck is Jacob? And why haven't we seen more of Desmond?! I swear, if they kill him....I might just have to have a little chat with Damon and Carlton.)
While there is a level of euphoria over tonight's engagement, it is not without a little sadness. Mainly the fact that after tonight it will be many months (some very cold and lonely) until we meet up with our friends again. I am not one of those LOSTies who spend every waking second online trying to crack the code, dreaming up theories and have conspiracies all worked out in my head, I like to watch, be amazed and scream "WHA???" and "this hurts my brain" at my TV screen. I used to have to research everything and try to figure it out, but I have found that just enjoying and being absolutely dumbfounded by what they keep throwing at me is so much more fulfilling. I like not knowing what is going to happen - it amazes me to think what these writers have done and will continue to do. I still have to laugh a little about Mark and how we became obsessed with this whole LOST thing; It was a very warm day in our subletted apartment in NYC when I first saw an ad for this new fall TV show called LOST. I didn't think much of it at first, but since I had no job, it was as hot as Hades and I lived in a less than desirable neighbourhood of northern Manhattan, I tended to stay inside and watch a lot of TV... so I saw a lot of ads for this show. Mark saw them too when he was home at night, and I told him I was going to check the show out but I was hesitant because it looked kind of hokey. Mark figured it would just be some Jurassic Park rip-off and he was not interested in it. Well fast forward 4 years and the kid is hooked! It's funny how some things never change, mainly the fact that he never listened to me then, and he still doesn't, yet without fail he always has to end up muttering a "you were right". But that's a topic for another day.
Anyway, I've stumbled off the path of my 8567458968th love fest to LOST since starting this blog. I am excited to see what is in store for us tonight...I am even willing to stay up again until 10:00 to watch it!! Mark you had just better be home on time so I am not up later! Yes that's right, in the household of the shrine to the DVR (we have 2), we watch LOST in realtime. Once in awhile we will have to start it later, like if Mark is taking his sweet time coming home from somewhere, but 95% of the time, when the clock hits 8:59, ABC is on and we are ready to go. No fast forwarding for us! Commercials are the time to digest what we've just seen and prepare for what's to come next! So if you're thinking about calling us tonight, and it is between 8:00 and 10:00 CST - please don't...or make sure it is during a commercial...because we won't be answering the phone! So if you watch, enjoy it and leave me a note on your thoughts. I just might come back tomorrow and give my final Lost lovefest for the year so leave me some ideas and thoughts to throw around for the masses!!

How To Mess Up Your Kids

With the impending birth of our first child, I've been thinking a lot about what kind of parents we will be, and how not to screw this up. Spending time recently travelling to visit with friends and family has made me realize, I probably don't want my kid to end up like me, my siblings or friends, but how do I avoid this. I’ve resisted the urging of my psychologist and dug deep into my memory of my childhood to think of the things that traumatized me most and made me the shell of a man I am today. Here is a list of ways that I think we can really screw this kid up.

Watch the Wizard of Oz. What kind of a twisted mind writes this type of book, flying monkeys, unionized midgets and a homicidal green-hewed woman with an extreme allergy to water. I did not do enough drugs as a kid to really learn to like this movie.
Read Where The Red Fern Grows. I swear I have never seen people cry like they do when they read this book. Why do we feel it’s a good idea to build children up with tales of animal friendships only to give them the emotional scars they receive when a pet dies, let alone two of them in a week? Damn you Little Ann, eat, eat. I cried like a little bi!@& reading this book.
Labyrinth. Muppets, birds eating their eyes out, flatulating rocks and David Bowie's prominently displayed package; sounds like a great kids movie.
Let them watch anything on VH1 or MTV. I don't think we have enough penicillin in the house to let our kid watch this crap. I Love Gonorrhea, Flavor of Chlamydia, Rock of Syphilis and all the other "reality" shows will warp your kids more than anything. Why not just order the Spice channel and let John Mark Karr watch your kids.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Oompa Loompas still freak me out.
Any rated R movie for toddlers. I know someone, who will remain anonymous, who was shown "Missing In Action", a great Chuck Norris war movie when they were under eight years old and had a nightmare so bad that they defecated in their bed. That is fantastic parenting.
Spoil your kids with love and encourage their creative urges. I remember the days when parents were honest with their kids and actually disciplined them for doing things wrong. It seems like these days kids are rewarded for bad behavior and parents are supposed to dismiss the terrible things kids do. Writing on the walls is no longer punished, but encouraged as it lets kids develop their creative personalities. All you have to do is watch American Idol tryouts to see what happens when we let kids run amok and constantly tell kids they are special and talented instead of being honest. Do you really want your child to end up like these miscreants?

What other terrible parenting traits should we avoid? Should we beat our kids? Will we be terrible parents? Can I fight crime with my washboard abs and boyish good looks? Please discuss these topics in the comment section.

Like Giving Candy to a Baby...Can I have Some??

Scene: Empty room except for a table.
Enter: Small child alone.
Enter: Big, Mean adult with a plate full of warm, aromatic, yummy cookies.
Big Mean Adult "Small Child - Do NOT touch the yummy cookies"
Exit: Big, Mean Adult
Scenario: Small child left to untangle the dichotomy of "To Eat or Not To Eat" the cookies....

This is the scenario I find myself in. Why is it that I can go weeks upon weeks without ever eating a cookie, candy, cake, pie...etc, but as soon as you tell me I can't, all I want is chips and lemon squares. Not to mention anything else made from a bread substance, is sweet and/or full of sugary goodness!!

The body is a funny thing, and right now it is the only one finding itself funny. Is it funny to tell a girl, a pregnant girl nonetheless, that she has to severly limit her carb intake? Or that she can't have that last piece of her birthday ice cream cake? I call that cruel and unusual punishment. But oh no, not my body, it openly laughs and mocks my misery.

I don't consider myself lucky. I've never won any holiday office drawing, or concert ticket giveaways...new cars...nothing. However give me a shot at getting something that only 4% of pregnant women get, and I am ALL over it!! I guess someone has to be on the receiving end of a cruel joke, and sad for me, I am one of the bottom dwellers this time around.
So if you see me around in the next two months and I seem a little sad, a tad grumpy, or darn right violent... you might want to run the other way.

Adventures in Home Decor

So I guess with a new addition to the family, some changes to the family abode must be made. With everything under the stars (and more) available to choose from...how do you choose? To be honest, I don't know how I chose. Actually, yes I do know...Mark vetoed my first choice in colours.

Anyway, so with the colours chosen, how do you pick everything else? Bedding, furniture, all important accessories... there are so many possibilities!! It's not like the kid is going to care though right? They won't even have a clue. It's all about the parents.

I decided against my original plan for a child's room...mainly due to the time it would require to get it done and also, I want the child to be old enough to appreciate the coolness of their room.

Now here we are with plan 2...not so much of a plan, but what we ended up with. Funny how you can have one thing in mind and then end up with something completely different. We always said we'd go with dark wood for the furniture (we have white), and I didn't want a totally girly room (there is no way Mark would ever let a boy live in this room).

So without further ado, I present the Smith's Extreme Home Makeover (sorry no before pictures! But it's easy to imagine - grey walls).

Enjoy.

Thanks Mark and Dad for painting the walls, and a huge THANK YOU! to my Mom for helping me paint all of the polka dots and all of the sewing for the cribbing.

Anyone have any ideas on cool room decor that is not Disney or cartoon characters?